Blonde Productions Group

If you thought the government was muscling in on your health care and taxes, you can now add a third item to the list: blogging. In its infinite wisdom, the U.S. Federal Trade Commission issued updated guidelines-the first since 1980-to its Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Beginning Dec. 1, bloggers or other word-of-mouth marketers must disclose their material connections to advertisers-material connections meaning payment or free products. Cash or in-kind payment to review a product is considered an endorsement.

Violations can result in a lawsuit or other action.

How the FTC will monitor blogs is yet undefined. Think government bailout: the big banks got money without appropriate restrictions on how to spend it, so ever more egregious actions resulted.

Do you think the FTC will do any better managing the universe of cyberspace than FEMA did Hurricane Katrina?

I’m speechless. And that’s not a paid position.

If you’ve got a message to communicate, contact us at 720-221-7126. Yes, you WILL pay us; yes we will blog our truth; yes, it works.

A handful of years ago, comedian-turned-talk-show-host Greg Behrendt (he co-authored “He’s Just Not That Into You” with Liz Tuccillo, the book that was the focus of one of the “Sex And The City” favorites) played the Comedy Works in Denver. It was one of those rare shows that was 99% absent obscenities-proof in this day and age that the performer was truly comedic, not just a shock jock.

Behrendt regaled the crowd with his “Truth in vodka” skit which revolved around his throwing back 8 (at least) vodka shooters and then calling his girlfriend who had happened to move to another coast where she was living with another man in a hotel while she and her new love awaited the completion of their new custom home. Deep into his vodka, Behrendt was also in deep denial about the status of his relationship with the woman: the clear beverage, it seems, clouded his vision. He felt compelled to pick up the phone and call her after his night on the town, by then convinced that her moving out of state was not a sign she’d moved out of the relationship.

He dialed the hotel and the front desk receptionist answered. He slurred his words as he requested his true love’s room number. The desk captain asked him to repeat the number several times and then when Behrendt finally pronounced the room number articulately enough to be understood, the desk captain asked, “Sir, are you sure you want me to put this call through?”

Behrendt awoke the next morning with the phone cradled in his chest and no recollection of the call that ensued.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a little man who lived in your phone who would ask you that same question when you’re dialing impaired?” Behrendt asked the audience. Pretty much to a one, the entire audience could sympathize with Behrendt’s prone position, hooting with laughter.

Well, now Google’s gone and done it.

The Internet king has developed Mail Goggles, a system you can set up on your computer to prevent the transmission of regretful messages while under the influence. It works by requiring the user to answer a series of math questions before the email “send” button will activate, effectively allowing the composer time to reconsider.

I’m not seeing a downside to this innovation. Cheers.

Is the language of Twitter so brief it’s dangerous?

Best known as the author of “The Elements of Style,” William Strunk Jr. was famous for urging writers to cut out the excess. He hadn’t met Twitter yet.

Last week, two US Governors, Sarah Palin and Arnold Schwarzenegger, came under fire for shortening their Twitter messages to a point that they were less than clear. And everyone knows how clearly politicians address their constituency, ahem.

Yahoonews.com reported that Palin’s abbreviated Tweet went like this:

Re inaccurate story floating re:ethics violation/Legal Defense Fund;matter is still pending;new info was just requested even;no final report.

Schwarzenegger accompanied his Tweet with a video of him holding a knife big enough to fend off a polar bear (oops, wrong Guv.) Even his press secretary couldn’t explain why.

Tweet limits the writer’s commentary to 140 characters. That leaves little room to elaborate or even explain.

While the brevity might have impressed Strunk at first, it’s certain that the Master of Succinctness would have blanched at the resulting confusion. After all, writing well is a means of communicating, not obfuscating.

Even bloggers at the Christian Science Monitor poked fun at the politicos by compiling examples of political tweets in a post entitled, “Politicians using Twitter: Morons or visionaries?”

At Blonde Productions Group, a member of the Unleaded Group, we urge our clients to Twitter thoughtfully. Too much too often is annoying to followers. Deploy your tweets sparingly and save the planet.

London’s Court of Appeals determined May 20 that Pringles are a food group, not just a snack, meaning that the chip is taxable at 15%, according to a report filed by msnbc.com. Across the pond, potato chips are subject to the tax while most foods are not.

The judges’ ruling was based on content value. A lot like the value between a good Internet site and one that’s lacking.

From the public-facing side of a website the SEO underpinnings aren’t necessarily evident. A flash home page, for example, might fill the senses with entertainment, but it can’t be optimized the way a hybrid html/flash page can. And if you’re seeking to boost your website to the top of the search engines, it’s essential that your website be able to be optimized.

The alternative is like dieting on martinis and chocolate-entertaining but valueless.

If you need help determining the nutritional value of your website as it exists today, or if you want a whole new website with exemplary content written by proven journalists, contact us at www.blondeproductionsgroup.com. Or call 720-221-7126.

Less than 13 hours ago, a Florida man saw Jesus in his toast.

Yes, believe it. It’s on msnbc.com, so it must be true. Or not.

Have the post-election doldrums caught up with us? The campaign over and campaign analysis whittled down to bare bones, leaves, obviously, little for the media to report.

Ahh, there’s no better time to get your corporate story into the press. If it is a positive story, i.e. your company has captured an enviable contract or your think tank has proffered up a genius theory, guaranteed it will be the only good news in that day’s tabloid. With today’s news that General Motors might not survive ‘til year-end and Circuit City seeking bankruptcy protection, it’s time for a come-to-Jesus and apparently that confab was held in Florida with no advance notice to the waitress in Broward County serving the French toast.

Blonde Productions Group, a member of the Unleaded Group headquartered in Denver, CO, can help you get your good news out into the world of airwaves and pixels, internet and even direct mail.

Contact us at 303-399-8635 or 720-221-7126.

The novelty has worn off. Blogs have become so ubiquitous that it’s tough to find tightly-written, purposeful blogs.

If you want your blog to be a standout, start by outlining the points you want to convey. Connect the dots by filling in the facts. Elaborate. Then once you have a first draft, perform a word count and downsize your blog by half. A wise journalism professor explains it this way, “Pretend as though each word costs money.”  Write like you are putting together a paid newspaper obituary and odds are you will be brief.

By now you may be thinking this is a blog, not a thesis. Only seasoned bloggers write off the cuff. If your blog is boring or pointless it will be significantly harder to develop a reader following. Like a newspaper column, the objective in blogging is to find a niche and cultivate a loyal audience.

A successful blog is distinguished by writing style. A salty, yet relevant tone can be tough to achieve. Humor is a wonderful gift, but don’t over-do it.

The most important thing to consider is how to make your blog googlable. (Dear Google, Thank you for having such a relevant company name that “google” is now recognized by Webster’s as a verb and an adjective). Consider what potential readers are likely to search relevant to your subject matter and deploy those words and phrases as often as possible in your blog.

If you need more tips on how to make it googlable (also known as optimized for search engines), consult with SEO expert Jarod Clark of Unleaded Software. He can be reached at jarod@unleadedsoftware.com.

PR-in the moment

Consider what “press release” means: information officially released to the press for the first time. The key is to make it newsworthy.  No matter the topic, it must be written as if it is important that moment. If stale or trite in the least it will be cast aside for more urgent communications. Oh, and don’t forget to put it in the standard format.  See a sample at http://blondeproductionsgroup.com/blog/.

Web writing done right

As important as it is to be concise in a blog, it is even more crucial in writing copy for websites.  No one wants to wade through text-heavy web copy. Use a bold san serif font and make use of white space to achieve aesthetic appeal. Yes, you need a brief attention-getting headline and introductory sentence, but other than that, rely on highly direct copy. Avoid type that is hard on the eyes because it is a proven fact that it takes longer to read text on a computer screen than on paper.

No matter what

It is important to proofread more than once. When a reader finds typographical, grammatical or spelling errors, it discredits the author/source.

Without question, my undergrad degree served me well. You can’t go to a college that intense without coming out with some level of working knowledge. (The place: Wheaton College, and no, not the place Billy Graham went, but one of the then-called, so-called Seven Sisters, located in Massachusetts.)

Since then, I’ve grown my career space by taking seminars. Curiously, some of the most learning-filled seminars were the ones least likely to pan out that way…at least at the time I enrolled.

I fell on some “chance” learning the year I signed up for a seminar on Assertiveness Training. In the ‘70s, assertiveness training was all the rush, nearly as much as John Grey’s “Dress for Success” in book format and seminars too. Randy advertised his assertiveness training as a means to control situations that weren’t going right basically because one lacked the hutzpha to speak up and defend one’s position.

That would be me as a cub reporter. The cotton-headed editor would make a point 4 out of 5 mornings to turn to me and ask, “Where’s Bonnie?” Bonnie was the next youngest reporter in the room, a keep-to-herself kind of gal who had a mysterious existence that kept her out late and, like domino theory, got her to work late each morning. But to her credit, she never missed a story or a deadline, staying well after quittin’ time to log in her copy.

The problem for me was that the minute I would hear Harriet the editor start to ask the question of Bonnie’s whereabouts, my stomach would tighten and I’d immediately feel guilty for her tardiness. I’d start dialing the rotary phone (no cell phones in these dark ages) and dial repeatedly if I wasn’t getting an answer, just to be sure that Bonnie hadn’t overslept. Geez, I’d mutter under my breath, why is she asking me…like I know…Bonnie, pick up the phone, please. Please.

In Randy’s course, I learned to envision the situation: early morning, no one in the newsroom talking much, bleary-eyed and focused on their coffee and the deadlines ahead. I learned to anticipate the editor’s inquiry and respond with an appropriate answer that was as straightforward as it comes, and as appropriate to: “Gee, Harriett, I don’t know where Bonnie is, but if you’d like, I can call her.”

The first day back on the job after the seminar, it wasn’t 10 minutes past 8 before Harriet asked where Bonnie was. I breathed in deep and as politely as I could repeated what I’d practiced in the car all weekend, “Gee, Harriet, I don’t know where Bonnie is, but if you’d like, I can call her.”

Harriet studied me for a few seconds and then nodded her head as if it had never occurred to her that I wouldn’t know Bonnie’s whereabouts. “I can call her,” Harriet stated plaintively. There, it was that easy. I was off the hook. Harriet got the point. Bonnie was still late. But I had no dog in the fight.

The best take-away I got from Randy’s course was that simple exercise in setting boundaries-worth every nickel of the then-pricy $45 seminar fee. It was, after all, 34 years ago.

If you’re interested in learning multiple tactics to get an editor’s attention and get your story into print, sign up now for the Sept. 20. Promise, we’ll give you more than even one smart answer you can take home with you! Sign-up here.

THESE WORDS DON’T FALL OUT OF MY HEAD. As a writer, that phrase courses through my head when a client or editor or graphic artist wants me to “write up a little quick….” If they’re a client, they tick off the purpose for the writing and all its seriousness and sometimes add, “This shouldn’t take you too long.” If they’re an editor, they call panicked that another writer failed to turn in their copy and that I was the next logical call to make. And oh, by the way, the deadline is COB (Close Of Business) same day. If they’re a graphic artist, they’re likely stumped for copy because, well, that’s not what they do for a living.

Writers aren’t taken seriously, I’ve learned over decades of manufacturing verbs, adjectives and pronouns. English degrees are often interpreted as the choice college undergrads make when they can’t decide on a major. J-school is increasingly something you do before going to law school, a career that ensures that you’re really going to make the money.

Of course, writers have to take part of the blame. As writers, and not so much talkers, we tend to put our heads down and write. The only noise in the room is a cd playing, ambient noise that helps us get into our writing space. I’ve been known to play the same cd over and over for 14 hours straight on a writing project. There was the time my upstairs neighbor couldn’t take another stanza of Madonna’s American Girl album and let me know as much, pounding at my door and shouting, “Are you trying to give me a message?! Well, I’ve got one for you!”

At first I was stunned at his interpretation of my choice in easy listening. Then the more bemused I became as I understood that he really had no affection at all for “I’m so stupid” (one of my personal favorites on the recording), the greater he took offense. Let’s just say it did nothing for our HOA relations.

The point is that writing is as much a science as blood testing in a hospital lab. It’s as much an art as architectural drawings. It’s as serious a business as being a teacher, a cop, a judge. I wouldn’t think of performing surgery because I’d had one; but I know doctors who don’t believe their copy needs editing.

So the next time your editor, your boss, the chairman of the volunteer board you serve on asks you to write a little something up, stop them in their tracks. Tell them that you’ll email them a Project Scope that delineates what you need to know about the writing project so that you can deliver copy that’s on target and on time. Then prepare a formal document that sets you forth as the professional you are. You’ll be surprised at how this single step can take you one rung higher. Toward heaven, perhaps?